Welcome to ARSE – The Channel Sex Network’s “Adult Recreational Sporting Entertainment” show where premier sports anchor Dick Flavour brings you the very best in hardcore, full contact sporting action from all around the globe. Whether it’s the Relish girls’ football team or the world sexual games, the ARSE team stop at nothing in bringing you plenty of sexy sporting details to get both your adrenaline and your man-jam flowing.!
Scene 1 The annual girl on girl kickathon is well underway at Biffin’s Bridge stadium. Unfortunately, the Relish team are getting hammered at half time, but it seems one hammering is just not enough for team captain Kelly Bonkhard and star Czech striker Claudia Nedved. The duo decides to pay the referee a visit in an attempt to influence his second half decision-making. It seems they have some handy tricks up their sleeves… well more like up their tops and inside their panties! Will the ref issue two red cards or decide to play the advantage.!
Scene 2: With the level of British tennis at an all time low, Jamie Johnson, ARSE’s reporter in the field, pays a visit to the British Elite Tennis Academy to see if we have anything to look forward to in the game. He certainly perks up when he meets Renee and Suzy, two rising starlets on the women’s doubles circuit. These girls are determined to get to the top of their game by whatever means necessary and trainer Danny has some rather unusual methods of keeping the girls in shape. The girls really do enjoy a hardcore hard-court grand slamming
Scene 3: It seems that the Relish girls’ half time chat with the referee paid off, as they arrive back at the clubhouse with the trophy, a bottle of champagne and some exceedingly high spirits. As the celebrations progress the atmosphere gets steamier and steamier until the girls decide to indulge in some post match snatch. Clearly they just can’t get enough of diving in the box!?
Scene 4: As the whole country prepares to go Olympic crazy, a select group of pornstars have decided to organise their own event to coincide with the 2012 games. Sex is a highly physical activity, great fun to do and great fun to watch, so it is about time that it got recognised as a sport. Ian and Elle are two of the main campaigners for the 2012 Sexual Games and are more than willing to give us an example of what to expect from this unusual event.
Scene 5: As another riveting episode of ARSE draws to a close, Dick Flavour hands over to the beautiful new weather girl Fanny Pounder for a look at the upcoming forecast. It is soon obvious however, that there is nothing further from our hosts minds than the weather. As soon as the lights drop down on the Channel Sex Network studio, Fanny wastes no time at all in having a taste of Dick’s Flavour!!
